The no contact rule is an effective strategy to alter your partners’ behavior and attitude towards you. Suppose you have been following the recipe, and now it’s been a reasonable period. In that case, you might be seeing the results of your actions. It is an effort to make you less vulnerable before your ex and improve his behavior with you. Here we have listed 5 signs the no contact rule is working:
5 signs the no contact rule is working
You feel a significant change in yourself
A no contact rule does not only impact your partner’s behavior; it also changes you. If you are feeling less dependent on your partner, then it is a positive change. You have established a balance in your feelings for your partner. This change enables you to focus on your daily routine and concentrate on your ambitions and work. This change would liberate you emotionally from others’ control, and you would feel free.
The distance made you realize what is good for you, and your priority is your happiness and well-being. Remember, if you cannot stand for your rights, nobody else will do that for you.
What change would you see in yourself
- You are no longer obsessed with his memories
- You feel more focused
- You enjoy your time more than before
- You feel ambitious and have an urge to achieve your goals
- You value yourself more than others
It is the first step to see the benefits of a no-contact rule to feel a change in yourself. Think about the way your partner hurt you; he was showing less interest in you. He had a selfish attitude towards or anything similar. You fell victim because you cared about how he dealt with you. This self-imposed distance has changed the course; now, you take an interest in other things. If your partner does the same thing again, it will not affect you in the same way.
Your ex tries to restore the contact
You have swallowed the bitter four weeks of no-contact with your partner, and he is overwhelmed with your silence. This silence is now tempting him to reestablish contact with you. If you see him trying to talk to you, it is a sign that the no contact rule is working. He may come to you with an apology and explaining that whatever happened was not intentional. He saw you completely vanished from his life, and it has disrupted everything. He is missing you badly, and your attention towards him is the only relief; he wants this relief in his life.
How will he try to contact you?
- He may reach out to you directly
- He can send you messages on social media or via email
- He may send you a love letter
- He may stare at you with softness and an apology in his eyes
- He may call you multiple times
So he may come with a sorry or even begging you to pardon him and restore your relationship. You may also have feelings for him but do not show haste in taking the next step. This is the time you need to assess what exactly you want for yourself and decide accordingly. If the patch-up is viable, there is nothing wrong with building your relationship again. On the other hand, if you feel that you do not need to dig the buried skeleton, it is wholly justified to refuse.
An attitude change in your ex
It is a meaningful sign that your ex has an attitude shift; now, he is more responsive and caring. Unfortunately, he miscalculated his position and became a narcissist, which forced you to cut off all contact with him. This period of no contact will let him rethink his behavior and reflect upon his mistakes. He would realize that he never wanted to lose you. He was just less careful about you, and you have shown him your value now.
You will find your ex to be more responsive, focused on you, and showing more affection. Your boyfriend values the time you spend with him. It is up to you if you want to accept him; I have seen numerous cases where a girl used the no contact rule that changed their partner. They receive their apology and enjoy being with their loved ones.
Your ex wants you back
He has endured your silence. He has realized where he was wrong. He has tried to contact you; he was sorry for what he did. He has become more responsive. All of these changes stem from his desire to have you back. Yes, he wants you to stay, and therefore he has changed himself. If your ex proposes you reset your relationship, that means the no contact rule has worked on him.
A friend of mine, Julie, had an annoying boyfriend that made her block him for a few weeks. The guy became obsessed with her, and he asked her friends and family members to request her on his behalf to come back in his life.
It is essential to mention that no contact rule should be used in extreme cases. For example, you are not recommended to use it on frequent arguments or minor issues. However, it has a positive impact if used at a suitable time.
Your ex memories are no longer affecting your life
After strictly following the no-contact rule, you are living your own life. There is a slight memory of your ex, which does not affect you anymore. You remember your ex, but you do not miss him anymore. It is a sign that no contact rule has worked.
At times when you go to a restaurant where you and your ex used to go or a cinema hall where you both had watched movies, you may be reminded about those times. Perhaps, there could be a slight feeling in your heart, but you have complete control over yourself; it was a momentary feeling, and now you are good to go.
How long does it take for the no contact rule to work?
No contact rule requires you to vanish from your partner’s life for at least 30 days. It is the time when you focus on everything except your ex. The time limit may be extended depending upon your situation and your partner’s mindset. It is vital to learn the no-contact rule timeline before expecting any results. There has to be at least 4-6 weeks cut off in communication before allowing your partner to talk to you.
There comes a time in a relationship where you cannot bear with the annoying attitude of your partner. In that situation, the no contact rule is used, consequently cutting all communications with your partner. After a certain period, the no contact rule starts showing results. Then, your partner tries to restore the relationship to its previous stage.